February 6, 2009

This Mommy I've Become

I have noticed that I have changed a lot since becoming a Mommy, and as I sit here thinking about that, I'm wondering what exactly made those changes???? Like what minute actions and occurences have made me into the Mommy that I PROUDLY am today?

Here are some I can think of off the top of my head:

-Not being able to bathe whenever and for however long i want to
-Not being able to go to the bathroom alone
-Finding myself sitting on the potty while stretching out a hand to rock a crying baby and singing "twinkle twinkle little star"
-Witnessing my son's and my daughters' first moments/breaths/cries/smiles/laughs/rolls/crawls/steps/burps/bites of food/etc...
-Not being able to sleep whenever and for however long i want to
-Doing the Mommy lick-my-finger-and-wipe-something-off-kids-face-thing
-Panicking that I'm not doing anything right as a parent
-watching my babies sleep/play/cry/fall down/get up/make friends/sit in my parents' and grandparents' laps
-trying to get them to make semi-decent faces for the Christmas picture
-BREASTFEEDING---one of the most selfless things EVER!!!
-holding them while they sleep/eat/cry/laugh/read a book/talk/bounce
-watching Brian with Jack and then watching him with Ali Grace--so different, yet still the same too
-disciplining Jack---UGH it's hard
-Letting God be in control--even of MY CHILDREN
-Praying for them before they were born, as they were being born, and afterward too, and for the future of them both
-Letting Jack cry it out----HEART WRENCHING
-Freaking out when I don't know what to do
-Laughing at them
-Taking care of them when they are sick (and telling Brian a thousand times that Yes, they are OK, they're going to be OK)
-Hurting with them
-Actually seeing them grow and learn
-Realizing that Brian and I are responsible for 2 little bodies and hearts and souls--and how would we ever do this without Jesus? WE CAN'T!!!
-Seeing our parents be so in love with our children


February 4, 2009

My New Year's Goals

Though it is February, I'm just now making my lists of goals and to-do's. I've been really brainstorming and praying about what I need to rearrange, reorganize, and delete from my everyday life. And I thought that sharing them with all of you would give me some encouragement and some accountability too!

So, some of my daily goals are:
1. Get up early, read my Bible and pray, take a shower and get dressed before the kids get up
2. Read a chapter of the Bible to the kids after breakfast
3. Spend an hour a day one-on-one with each of the kids
5. Get cleaning chores done
6. Spend time with Brian

So far I'm doing pretty good. #1 hasn't happened quite right yet, I have been reading and I get to take a shower at some point during the day, though it might be at 8:00 at night. I'm not too discouraged though because Ali Grace is still waking up every 3 hours to eat at night, so I think I'm doing alright. :)

I have been reading to the kids though, and on days that I've forgotten it's been so amazing because Jack has actually reminded me! He has 2 small New Testaments, and every once in a while he'll ask for one, and that reminds me, so that has been a huge blessing!

Spending more one-on-one time with the kids hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. And it's been sooo much fun! Jack is verrry into playing with his cars and trucks, so we've been doing a lot of that. And Ali Grace is so much fun to roll around with and bounce on my lap! They are a blast!

The TV thing is a struggle for me. I just want it on! It's such an idol for me, and I'm reeeeally working on it. I am doing better, and I've cut out a couple of shows that I felt convicted about watching--the verse that God showed me that has helped tremendously is Psalms 119:37, "Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in your way."

Cleaning the house has gone by the wayside BIG time since Ali was born, and I finally made a new cleaning schedule and it's going OK--I pretty much have to force myself to do it most days, but so far the house is looking better, and I feel better. It really affects me when things get too disorganized and dirty around here.

And last but certainly not least, though things are crazier than ever around here (this past week Brian worked at least 25 hours overtime b/c of the ice storm in North AR) we are setting a side a little time each day just to be together and laugh and talk and vent about whatever. I love Brian so much and he's been so great and supportive as I've made my lists of goals and to-do's. I've really missed him as he's been working more, but I'm seeing that God is using it to stretch me and to make me rely on Him more. Plus it has shown me how VERY much Brian helps around the house and with the kids, and just how blessed I am to have a husband like him!

So, lots of changes are happening around the Chisholm house. God is working in me and in our family tremendously! Another verse that God gave me for this time is Psalms 51:23, "Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; And to him who orders his conduct aright I will show the salvation of God." That has encouraged me soooo much! I have a few more lists of goals and to-do's, but this post is long enough, so I'll spare you, but please pray for us and for God to continue to teach us to order our conduct aright.